


Worse Than AK

by iamisaac



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Gen, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 13:46:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5250392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamisaac/pseuds/iamisaac





	Worse Than AK

Lord Voldemort stood glumly in the big room, a row of Muggles in front of him. It wasn't that he didn't like Avada Kedavra – of course not – but one couldn't help but admit that it got a little... repetitive... after a while. Even with a nice burst of Cruciatus to get him in the mood (for, after all, there was nothing like screaming Muggles to cheer a Dark Lord up), it was becoming – well, more of a chore than a pleasure.

“My Lord...” A Death-Eater had gauged his emotions correctly, and stood nervously beside him. A good suggestion might set a servant up for life; a bad one might set him up for death.

“Yes?” he snapped.

“My Lord, I have an idea. Something new to do to the Muggles – worse than Avada Kedavra...”

Voldemort turned his red eyed gaze upon his follower. “Worse than AK?” he demanded. “How can anything be worse than death?”

“This is, my Lord,” his vassal said nervously. “It is diabolical – terrible...”

“Tell me more.” Lord Voldemort hadn't been so intrigued in a long while.

The Death-Eater leaned forward and whispered in his master's ear. Voldemort's expression changed from a frown (terrifying) to the beginnings of a smile (terrifying). 

“Mulciber, I think you have something,” he said, his pale tongue sneaking between his teeth to lick his lips with anticipation. He turned to his prisoners. “There will be no more deaths today,” he said coldly. “Death is too... quick. Today I have a different plan.”

The Muggles had barely a second to exchange scared glances before Lord Voldemort lifted his wand. Then, where once humans had stood, there was a row of ceramic garden gnomes, their eyes unnervingly alive. Voldemort's face creased into the semblance of a grin.

“Gnomes,” he said in deep satisfaction. “Mulciber, you are promoted.”


End file.
